Fat.

Dying over this right here, mostly because it's exactly how I feel. Also it's hysterical.

DJ and I have recently began a quest towards our pre-marriage bodies. 

We've each put on 20+ pounds since we tied the knot and we feel (and look) fat. 

I put on some leggings the other day and seriously, I was a wide-load. I can't believe I left the house.

It's bad.

DJ bought a gym membership with his graduation money and has been pretty good about going with his buddy Jeff.

 He also has a road bike and loves to cycle at the butt crack of dawn with a group of guys.

I, on the other hand, do not have a gym membership or a bike. Or friends.

I have the kitchen full of temptations all to myself.

Really really delicious temptations.

I've been trying to cut back on my calorie intake, but I am afraid my approach is flawed - 

basically I eat a granola bar or two throughout the day and binge eat my dinner. 

Working on figuring that out.

Also I tried to run on Tuesday night. 

Keyword here is "tried".

I lasted about 5 minutes on the treadmill and was ready to surrender 

my firstborn child to the gods of exercise if they would just MAKE IT STOP.

Did not go well.

But I shall keep trying. 

Truth.