Update.

I realize it has been quite some time since actually writing a post with real, substantial content. Lots has been going on and life has been so crazy busy and wonderful. This is going to be quite a hodge-podge of information but here goes!

DJ just finished his first semester of graduate school! One more to go! Deciding to send DJ to grad school was such a great decision that has lead to some incredible blessings. It hasn't been easy, though. He had to quit his job to make time for his academic responsibilities and that put a lot of pressure on our finances. We've skimmed by, but it has been tight! I try to keep telling myself that we will never be poorer than we are right now! Ha! Something to look forward to :) Deej has excelled at his school work and has worked SO hard to pull off his great grades. I'm so proud of him!

We've made the decision to send me back to school next semester. Honestly, I am so excited. I think I really needed the break that I took the last four months. I was feeling pretty burnt out and taking a semester off has re-vamped my enthusiasm for getting an education. I'm also set on what I would like to major in (Family and Human Development) and I LOVE IT. Such a fun degree that I feel will really benefit our future family. Even though life will be crazy with both of us in school and working, I am anxious to begin learning again!

I'm currently finishing up my last week of work as Samantha's nanny. I've been with her for a year now, since she was 6 weeks old. It's a bittersweet feeling, moving on and going back to school next semester. I love my little Lovebug! The past year of my life I've spent raising her and loving her and I think I will really struggle not seeing her every day. 

My little Etsy shop is taking off! We have made a decent amount of money this year and the supplemental income has been such a blessing. I am able to work on orders while Samantha naps which sure beats sitting and watching TV while she sleeps. I love creating new things and sharing them with others all over the country. We're hoping and praying that the increase of sales continues into the new year.

Well, we are continuing to be treated for our miscarriages. I'll post an update on that chain of events later today. 

Life is good. We are looking forward to having some time off for the holidays. What a wonderful time of year it is! It has always been easy for me to recognize the blessings in my life at this time of year and as difficult as the past year has been, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Looking forward to the greatness that 2014 has in store for us! 

The Journey is Important.

A great weakness of mine is struggling to enjoy the present.

It's not that I don't appreciate the things that I have and the life that I live. I am very blessed, and I recognize that those blessings come from the Lord.

But I often find myself yearning for the things that the future has in store for me. I know that there are great things ahead, and on difficult days, I tend to get lost aching for those things that I have yet to achieve.

It's almost like a coping mechanism for me.

I think thoughts such as,

"This week has been really hard so far, if I can just make it to the weekend..."

or 

"One more year of school for DJ and then we won't struggle so much anymore..."

I get caught up in this way of thinking, and before I know it I have reached my destination, but have completely missed the journey there.

And I am learning that the journey is important.

Sweet, sweet DJ and I had a heart-to-heart about this weakness of mine the other evening. He kindly (but bluntly) pointed out that my life was passing me by and I was missing out on valuable opportunities to learn and grow. At first I was stubborn and argued that aiming for the future is a good thing. My loving husband pointed out that while it is a good thing, it can (and does) cause me to stress and be impatient and anxious. DJ taught me that every day is a gift, and should be treated as such. I realized that he is right, and I am grateful that he was prompted to intervene and to help me find peace and happiness.

I walked away feelings refreshed and renewed, with a strong resolve to work towards the future but enjoy each day for all that it is worth.

Since our little talk, and through speaking with the Lord and asking for assistance and patience, I have felt a wonderful sense of peace enter my life. While I still have my goals and aspirations, I feel like my life has slowed down and my eyes have been opened. I spend less time worrying about when x,y, or z will happen and by doing so, I have slowly been able to recognize those daily opportunities for growth and instruction.

I am more able to find happiness in the little things. 

I am more able to express love to my family.

I am more patient.

I am more in tune with the Holy Spirit.

I am still learning, and I think that it will be a process to find a balance between aspiring for goals and enjoying the present. I am grateful that DJ took notice of my stress and impatience and that he lovingly has directed me down the path to overcoming this weakness of mine and living a more fulfilling life.

The destination is wonderful, but the journey is important.

It Begins.

It's that time of year again.

The end of summer.

August.

School.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I am taking the year off.

DJ, however, dives into his first quarter of graduate school on Thursday.

Bless his heart!

On Saturday, after our eventful evening at the hospital the night before, we decided to go out to dinner to mourn celebrate the beginning of a brand new school year.

We talked about DJ's goals for the year and how we can work together to achieve them.

College is hard.

Graduate school is harder.

DJ will do great, and I am so proud of him for making the choice to further his education for the benefit of our family.

Decisions.

I'm facing a few big decisions in regard to school and work, and I always find it helpful to record my thoughts when trying to decide what to do.

First, I have decided not to go to school this upcoming year.

DJ is beginning graduate school next month which is pretty much a full time commitment. I am going to be responsible for providing for our little family during that time, which is hugely stressful for me to even think about. While I make decent money, we still rely on DJ's income to supplement mine. It is going to be a difficult year for us, and I just don't think I can handle trying to succeed in school on top of things. Therefore, the decision to take a year off.

I know, I know, "If you stop now you'll never go back!" 

I feel confident that my determination to get a college degree will pull me through the difficulties that taking time off and re-starting school may present. It has always been a goal of mine to graduate, and not doing so is not an option in my mind. Sure it will be challenging, but like most challenges, the end result will be well worth it.

What to do?

Goals.

I believe in bettering oneself.

When I am going through difficult times, or when I am not satisfied with how I feel about my life, I often find myself pondering on the things that I am doing, and what I could do better. I then like to formulate a plan to improve those things that I am dissatisfied with.

I am a goal setter.

Recently, after finding ourselves in a bit of a funk, DJ and I decided that we needed to make some changes in our life. 

First, we set a goal to eat healthier, fresher foods. 

This goal was particularly difficult for me. 

As the wife who does the majority of the cooking, setting a goal to eat out less and cook at home more meant meal planning, grocery shopping, and turning on the stove.

Like I said, difficult.

I set about creating weekly meal and shopping plans, and after about a month of committing myself to my routine, I am proud to say that I am getting used to things. We are eating out only about once a week, usually on the weekends, saving SO much money and reducing waste by shopping every week and only for things that we need, and we are both feeling healthier and happier as we introduce whole, healthy foods into our bodies. 

Our next goal involved keeping a clean home where the Spirit would be welcomed and easily felt. 

Our cleaning routine historically has gone something like this:

Spend 10 hours every Saturday cleaning and scrubbing and doing the laundry and then trash the place throughout the week and do it all over again next Saturday.

It was exhausting and super disappointing to come home to a house that got messier and messier as the week went on. Not to mention the fact that I could rarely go out on Saturdays due to the giant mess that I had to clean. 

DJ and I decided that we would dedicate 10-15 minutes a day to pick up the house. In addition to picking up each day, I have also been trying to do one bigger chore (such as vacuum, dust, scrub the toilet, etc.) and a load of laundry each day to minimize the amount of work that I will have to do on the weekends.

I am still working on getting the bigger chores into a cyclical system, but I seriously cannot BELIEVE how much of a difference a clean home has made. It is SO refreshing to open the front door and see a spotless living room, and then continue on to see that the dishes are done, the bed is made, the laundry is off of the floor. The irritation that was caused by messiness is gone, and because we are dividing the workload and doing a little bit each day, DJ and I have more time to spend with one another and less time to stress over a messy home. We are pretty proud of ourselves for doing such a good job the past two weeks, and I think that because there has been such a drastic change in the atmosphere of our home that we are both very motivated to continue keeping our home peaceful and clean. 

Our next goal has been to exercise weekly. 

DJ has been doing an AWESOME job at this one, going to the gym 3-4 times a week and going on bike rides in the mornings on the days that he doesn't go. 

I, however, have been once in the past month.

I really hate working out and sweating, but I do know that it is supremely important that I exercise on a daily basis. Therefore, I have set a goal that beginning today, I will try my hardest to go to the gym 3 days this week. This morning, I woke up a little bit earlier than usual and packed a bag of gym clothes and DJ and I made a plan to meet at the gym after work. I am trying to be committed and preparing ahead of time always helps keep me from bailing at the last minute. So, we will see how today goes, and I really hope that I can get my lazy bum working out 3 times this week! 

Wish me luck.

Finally (for now - there will be more goal setting in the future, I'm sure of it!) DJ and I have been trying to be more committed to studying our scriptures and praying together every single day. We have always struggled to be consistent with this, and we have felt the blessings of doing so missing from our lives. We decided that we needed to make a greater effort to follow the Lord's counsel, and have started reading and praying each day. Some days we do a really awesome job and read a chapter and then write about our thoughts and feelings, and other days a half hour after going to sleep I have to wake DJ up because we forgot to pray and we hold hands and say the prayer in bed. We are definitely not perfect, but we are feeling a difference. The Spirit is more present than it was and we are able to easily recognize the Lord's hand in our day to day lives. It is such a blessing to be able to read and pray together, and I regret that we haven't been more diligent in the past. I look forward to continuing to grow closer together and to the Lord and seeing the blessings that will manifest in our lives through our dedication.

Goal setting is super important to me. It's a part of my personality, a part of who I am. Some people can better themselves naturally and effortlessly, but I have to look ahead and make a plan to get where I want to be. If I'm not setting goals for myself, I am not progressing. But I am thankful that that is the way I am, because through goal setting I can look back at where I was and see where I am now and easily see the changes I have made. I have big plans for myself, and one step at a time, I will get there.